2 min read Learning

The Struggle Is Real (and what you can learn from it)

See, our bodies and brains don't really like change. They don't really like uncertainty either. And now imagine what happens if our brains have to deal with all that while being in an echo chamber.
The Struggle Is Real (and what you can learn from it)

Somewhat naturally, but without realizing it, I retracted from social life a little due to the ongoing pandemic.

Then I Went Back Out There

So when I did realize it a month or two ago, I consciously took a sizable chunk of time out the past weeks to meet people for coffee, lunch, and beers, or just calling them up to check-in how they're doing.

Maybe it's because I've enjoyed too much time in my cozy home office, but I got hit with a pervasive feeling that there is a strong underlying current of ongoing struggle seeping through peoples lives right now. It's not necessarily obvious either. It took me a couple of weeks to put my finger on it.

While I thoroughly enjoyed the conversations, there was a noticeable heaviness and nervousness to them. They revolved around the ongoing uncertainty, things that don't work out, and plans that fell through. And it's only natural, isn't it? For many people 2020 has not exactly been a walk in the park.

The Struggle

Our routines have changed (hello home office, hello home schooling, hello face masks), our usual outlets are gone (bye concerts, bye social events, bye travel plans) and many people have had their lives seriously disrupted with the death of a loved one, loosing their job or the sudden crumbling of a business venture.

While we can cope (or even thrive) with some of those for a while, if they pile on and sustain over a longer period of time, they will put a toll (even if not conscious) on our wellbeing. See, our bodies and brains don't really like change. They don't really like uncertainty either. And now imagine what happens if our brains have to deal with all that while being in an echo chamber, with the media, loved ones and colleagues (understandably) telling you about all the struggles and problems out there. But maybe it's not all bad?

The Lesson

A situation like the one we are all facing together right now is a great leveler. With no real agenda, it ruthlessly, but neutrally unearths all the inefficiencies of the systems we hinge our lives on. So whether it's our insecurities, our struggling relationships, our stalling career or our (non-existent) finances. All that shit is stress tested right now. BUT:

I strongly believe that we can choose to look at every tough situation either from the perspective of the victim, or the perspective of the student.

If we choose the victim, we have conceded. We are giving forces outside of our control the power to pull us down. But if we are the student, we study, reflect upon, and acknowledge what is happening. We look for the lessons to be learned. And lucky enough, there is a lesson to be learned in every struggle that we face. And to get good answers, we need to ask the hard questions:

  • What decisions have I made to be in this situation?
  • What did I do (or not do!) that led me here?
  • What can I do differently now (or next time)?
  • What can I let go of?

I am writing these lines not to point out the obvious and paint a picture of impending doom, but to send out a little reminder to have patience with ourselves and the people in our lives. We can acknowledge and allow the frustration to bubble up and maybe we find an important lesson hidden in the margins.

Okay, enough projecting for today. I love you all, take care 😘

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