Stop Trying To Be Happy

A person dear to me recently philosophised that it's our duty to enjoy life and that we need to cultivate the self-awareness to make room for it in the moment. I wholeheartedly agree. Enjoyment, flow and happiness are not states to be captured or attained outside ourselves, they are always there inside waiting to be tapped.

For me this is a profound shift in perspective, because this means no matter the project you are working on, or the circumstances you are in, you can take a step back in the moment and decide for yourself how you want to frame whatever it is you are doing or experiencing.

For example, anxiety and excitement are two sides of the same coin. Like, both states are stemming from the almost exact same chemical process that happens inside our body (what the medical community calls “arousal congruence”). It's our mind that receives that signal and makes the decision which emotion to focus on. Our interpretation of the chemical process determines how we feel about it.

Mooji, the Buddhist teacher, once said:

“If you are chasing happiness, it will run away from you. When you stop chasing, happiness will come and kiss you on the cheek.”

What does he mean by this? Aren’t we founded under the principles of life, liberty, and the PURSUIT of happiness? We are. But perhaps there is some unproductive advice woven in there. To be in pursuit of something, is to acknowledge that you don’t have whatever you are chasing. Otherwise why would you chase it? You wouldn’t. You would just be in acceptance of what you have.

It is a worthy endeavor to pursue your purpose, your potential, or the fruition of some particular intention. But that is different than happiness. Happiness for me comes from acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm toward your present experience. It is not something that happens in the future or the past. It is always right now.

To me this means that you can be happy while pursuing anything, but you can’t pursue happiness. Because happiness is not a future state, it is just a present state. This is the misunderstanding surrounding happiness that keeps people from being as happy as they could be.

There is nothing to pursue, rather there is a personal choice in every moment to let go.