My 5 biggest personal learnings

In this publication I reflect on life's challenges, opportunities and the way I deal with or think about them. So I thought, it'd be fitting to summarize my main learnings or personal epiphanies as I go.

1. When we stop obsessing about the end results, we are free to do our best work.

Once we drop the need to control the outcome of our actions, anxiety starts to magically melt away. Because all we can ever do in the present moment is giving it our best.

This is probably one of the most profound lessons not only of this year, but of my entire life.

2. It's about Who not How.

For years I was brooding over all the Hows in my life, thinking I need to do it all myself. When we flip the words and instead ask "who could help me with this?", we not only open ourselves up to more possibilities and opportunities, but also get to spend more of our time on the things we enjoy and are good at.

3. Spend your time with people around whom you like yourself.

When we regularly have negative thoughts about ourselves before, during or after we interact with certain people, it's a surefire sign that we need to re-evaluate those relationships. If we don't like who we are in the presence of another person, there is probably a reason for that (built up resentment is a big one). Or in the words of James Clear: "I’d estimate at least half of my frustrations with others are actually frustrations with myself for failing to set clear boundaries and stand by them."

4. Play the long game, because consistency is the gatekeeper to any meaningful progress.

Historically I have not been a very patient man. But I am starting to learn that meaningful success (in any part of our lives) can only be attained through steady, consistent effort. Consistency is the hurdle to clear. It’s the required standard to progress. And following lesson number above has helped me tremendously to stay patient and keep at it.

5. Integrity means that our thoughts, our words and our actions are one and the same thing. And our self-esteem depends on it.

So much of the confusions and frustrations in our lives are caused by our inability to align what we think, what we say and what we do. This can erode the sense of trust we have in ourselves (and the trust of others in us!), which in turn, can chip away at our self-esteem. But in the end, self-esteem is just a snapshot of the current reputation we have with ourselves. Every day is a new round and a new opportunity to show up and try again.

I have learned so much through writing this section every week. "Writing is thinking" as they say. It helps me to get clear on my priorities and the way I want to live my life. It's almost like self-therapy.